Surprise! You’re going to be a single mother.

You never plan on being a single mom. It surprises you in the night like an intruder in your home. You scramble to put the pieces together of your now disheveled life. Thoughts race through your head and you don’t know which way to go or what to do. Step by step you move forward to assemble a new life. If you’re lucky, you have the support of your family. You tell yourself this won’t be forever; I won’t be single forever. You imagine picking up where you left off still dreaming of that family life you started. The tears that fall from your eyes are in no short supply. The heavyness in your heart is abundant. When you look at your child(ren) your breathing quickens. You gasp for air because their delicate, innocence laying before you is too much for you to bear. Your child(ren) does not deserve the unfortunate circumstance that is now being thrown upon (him/her/them). You can’t imagine you’ll survive the turmoil that you will have to sort through. You might be foolish enough to think you will have no problem starting fresh and new but you don’t realize life has a message for you that time will decipher.  

I’m here to tell you that you will survive being a single mom. I’m living proof. I made the choice many years ago to raise my child alone. It was the healthier and safer option for him and myself. I thought it would be easy to meet someone and start over providing my son with a father immediately. I learned that thought was wrong. It is very difficult to find someone you are compatible with and that will have interest in your child. I am now comfortable and over that idea. I still would welcome a friend for my child and of course a best friend/lover/partner for me but I do not feel such urgency for it anymore.

Embrace the heartache, learn the lesson and treasure your child(ren). It will make you wise and there is a purpose to all you experience – positive and negative. Life is a game to be played and you have to learn how to play it.